Sunday, January 30, 2011

Free Time

I (Jenny) have had a lot of free time since we've been here in Boise. And it's been difficult.
Which, is weird.
Really-free time = difficult?
What does that mean.....come on Jenny....I can't get enough free time.
I KNOW! I mean, that is how I felt when I was working 40 hrs a week and trying to clean my constantly cluttered little apartment and you know.....have fun and enjoy the life God gave me. I felt like I couldn't have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do and learn and explore and read and etc.
So now here I am in Boise and I can make anything of my day and um....I don't.
I think it's mostly a lack of motivation.
I need structure.
I need a schedule.
I need expectations.
Defined expectations, not just 'I want to get stuff done today' because, depending on my mood, that might mean: painting the house, paying bills, grocery shopping, plant a garden, learn how to sew a prom dress, make a pot roast and have a lovely dinner with my husband while we discuss world politics and the impression it has on the church because I just read a book that made me think....all while making money with the 'idea' of on online business that's been bumping around in my head.

right.
And then I feel like not only have I let myself down, I've let everyone around me down. Crazy-yes. Because, who's expectations are those? I know I can't DO all those things....no one is telling me that I need to do these things to be productive. Really, as long as I shower my husband is happy.
I need different expectations.

Expectations that are realistic are more like: work on a scarf for my mother in law, paint my nails, go for a hike, and make a pot roast.
The scarf I made for my mother in law AND my homemade manicure

























So I need to make a list....of REAL LIFE things I can do in 10 hours.
For structure, for sanity....I need a list.
Amen.

*Jenny

2 comments:

  1. BTW, I love the scarf. It's so nice and warm for these cool winter days and nights.
    Ann (mother-in-law mentioned above)

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  2. I appreciate this post Jenny, because I feel the same way!! (haven't found a job yet here in Sydney). So glad to know that I have been wrestling with the same issues. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed by the possibilities of how to spend my free time and the pressure to do something with it...that I do nothing! Do you still have the same phone number? Maybe I should call you and we can discuss. :) thanks for posting this love!! - Rachael M.

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